Similarities

A fellow member of my 12-step program "home group" is an Episcopal priest, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that we often talk about spiritual things before or after a meeting. One of our memorable conversations was about the similarity between going to a meeting and going to a religious service.

12-step programs and religious faiths both establish a sense of community, of belonging to a group of like-minded people. Each can be found world-wide and, whether we attend a meeting or a church (or temple or mosque) outside of our home community, we can be reasonably certain that we will be accepted as "one of them" even if we don't speak their language. In fact, members of both groups go out of their way to seek out newcomers and introduce them to other members. In both cases, however, we will feel most at home with our specific "home group" or place of worship. These members are like family -- we know their habits and traditions, their likes and dislikes, their joys and sorrows, their generosity and quirks.

12-step meetings and religious services each have a structure that they adhere to -- most of the time -- and the structures themselves are remarkably similar. During most meetings (except for some speaker's meetings) and all services, one or more people read from "approved literature" that consists of stories and other writngs that illustrate important aspects of the program or faith. It might be the "Big Book" or the "Twelve and Twelve," or it might be the Bible, the Torah or the Koran. These readings instruct us in our daily living. After the readings, one or more people will talk about the readings, what they mean, and how they apply to daily life. In a religious service, this part is most often a minister delivering a sermon or homily to the congregation. In a meeting the speaking part is called "sharing." One or two speakers might be the only ones doing the sharing, but in most meetings anyone can (and will) share.

Sometime around the middle of the service or a meeting, a basket will be passed around for voluntary contributions. In both cases, this is usually a time when announcements will be made about upcoming activities and news about individual members.

Religious services and meetings both close with one or more prayers asking God or a "higher power" to sustain the members until the next time they can gather together.

The last two similarities apply more to Christianity than to other faiths. First, during many Christian services the members will together recite a creed that outlines the tenets of their faith. During many meetings, one or more members will recite from something that describes the basic tenets of the program, usually the steps, with some parts recited in unison. Second, most Christian faiths either require or allow for confession -- non-specific group confession or individual, private confession with a priest or minister. 12-step programs include a fourth and fifth step where a member first seeks to identify personal "defects" and then shares them with another trusted member. In both cases this represents an "unburdening" that is intended to cleanse the soul and/or the spirit.

I'm very fortunate to be a member of both kinds of groups -- two lively communities of diverse members where I can learn how to really "live" life, share problems and solutions, give and receive support in times of joy and sorrow, and gather with others in recognition that it really isn't "all about me."

"Hearts in Atlantis"

We just returned from a small-ship cruise from Barcelona to Rome, stopping at ports along the Spanish, French and Italian Riviera. The cruise didn't have any 12-step meetings, but I spent some time reading a Stephen King novella that touches on the subject of addiction in a very interesting way. The novella is called "Hearts in Atlantis."

The setting is a college in the northeastern part of the United States in 1966. The Vietnam War has recently escalated. Peter is a freshman from a small town who's dependant upon his scholarship which, in turn,is dependant upon Peter's maintaining at least a 2.5 grade point average.

Atlantis stands for the physical and psychological virginity that Peter has experienced up to this point. Stable home, high school girlfriend, good grades, and almost no knowledge of the war. Atlantis is a golden place, a golden age that is destined for a catastrophic end.

"Hearts" stands for two different things as well. The card game of Hearts becomes a compulsion, an addiction that overtakes Peter and his friends, threatening their grades and their futures. And Peter's heart leads him to love and friendship, and ultimately heartbreak, before the end of the story.

The story is about awakening and what follows afterwards. For several of the characters, what follows is too much of something -- too many card games, too much drinking, too much sex, too much activity protesting the war. Peter has a second awakening that saves him from destruction. Others don't, despite the knowledge that their lives have become unmanageable.

A good read, especially for someone who remembers that era.