"Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you"

In the first two steps all I had to do was think about my life. I saw that I was powerless over alcohol after I took that first drink. My life wasn't totally unmanageable yet, but it would be if I kept drinking. I couldn't stop all by myself, and my 12-Step Program told me that a Higher Power could help me. I believed it, because I saw a whole lot of people in meetings who believed it, and they were doing just fine. The first two steps didn't require me to DO anything -- just to accept what I was told.

Step Three is a whole different story. It says, "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood him." Turning my will over to anyone -- even God -- is something that I had never envisioned. But I've made the decision. Let's say that I'm willing to be willing. I'm even eager to be willing. That doesn't mean that my will doesn't try to reassert itself -- frequently! Sometimes it's successful. But I keep trying. I've made a beginning, and I will build on that. My intention is to bring my words and my actions into agreement with God's will for me. It's something to work at every single day.

The Epistle lesson for this past Sunday (yesterday) spoke directly to me, and to all 12-Step Program followers, about Step 3.

James 3:13-4:3, 7-8a

Who is wise and understanding among you? Show by your good life that your works are done with gentleness born of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not be boastful and false to the truth. Such wisdom does not come down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, devilish. For where there is envy and selfish ambition, there will also be disorder and wickedness of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without a trace of partiality or hypocrisy. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace for those who make peace. Those conflicts and disputes among you, where do they come from? Do they not come from your cravings that are at war within you? You want something and do not have it; so you commit murder. And you covet something and cannot obtain it; so you engage in disputes and conflicts. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, in order to spend what you get on your pleasures. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.

Unbound

Every morning I receive, in my email, a thought for the day from the Society of Saint John the Evangelist. Yesterday's thought, written by Brother Curtis Almquist, struck me as being particularly meaningful for those of us in 12-step programs.

"The metaphor that Jesus uses in the Gospels to describe forgiveness is the setting free of a prisoner; it’s to “unbind” someone. Without this, someone is simply chained to their past – probably to repeat their past – and shackled from changing. They will likely stay the same, as will we, their judges."

Without surrendering to my higher power, without working the steps of the program, without the daily support of other members of the program, I will stay chained to my past, and risk repeating my past actions.

When I became part of the program, I didn't want to stay the same. I wanted to change. I wanted what the other members of the program had. So I was told what I needed to do. I needed to stop drinking, go to meetings, get a sponsor, and work the steps. It isn't complicated. But it isn't always easy. I take it one day at a time.

Today I feel like I am unbound. I am no longer chained to the past. I have the power of choice. I am grateful that I know which path to choose. And I have no fear of being judged, because I know that I'm doing the right things.